the natural and infinite

loving : birthday trips

2012-03-03T22:51:00.003-06:00

Preface

So, our dad has this birthday tradition of doing Something Special for his girls - in the past, it's been such surprise en masse outings as a night at the Meyerson or going to see Broadway's Phantom of the Opera, followed by one of the most memorable 4-hour dinners at an intimate little French restaurant. This year, armed with a biker's map of riding routes in Texas Hill Country and a slew of weekends tailored to each girls' schedule, he is taking us out one at a time for individual birthday trips. Mine was this weekend - a long weekend, starting Wednesday night when I packed up and spent the night in Canton - to simultaneously work at a Texas Lions Camp in the mornings and tour on his bike in the afternoons. I am blistered, and sun-burnt, and gloriously wearied, and more in awe than ever of Dad's love and thoughtfulness for his daughters.

Thursday

We left early, in the still-dark of morning, to meet up with Abi in Waco for pancakes and coffee and conversation before her first morning class. I promptly settled back in to sleep for the remainder of our drive but was woken up groggily as Dad pulled into an AT&T store for a totally unexpected birthday gift, the beyond beautiful iPhone 4S, which is about twenty leaps upward from my old but faithful 3G. Again, in awe. I giddily set-up Sonya (all phones must have a name, you see) for the next hour or two until we stopped for a patio lunch overlooking Marble Falls lake, with constant snapping of the phone and more shared awe.

Onward to Fredericksburg, where we pulled over to unload Dad's Vulcan Classic and try out our first route. Those initial moments on the bike were terrifying. Realizing as we pulled forward into the flow of traffic that we were totally vulnerable - hurtling forward in space, on a machine of pure metal and gas, with no restraints to keep us from flying out on either side and no protection from the hard-fisted asphalt whipping remorseless below or the suddenly towering cars passing heedlessly beside.

That warm Southern wind pushed hard, the bike leaned deeply into a curve, and I could feel the keen rush of being present. I let go of the fearful possibilities, held onto Dad's shoulders, and drank in for hours the steep winding back roads between grey lace of mesquite shrub and down into creek bottoms of pink granite and clear pools and up again to sudden breath-taking ribbons of blue-green hills peppered with cactus clumps and jagged faces of rock and then unexpected spreads of lush pasture with sheep and then cattle roaming free within fingertip-touching distance.

We passed Enchanted Rock, me waving wildly towards it and explaining through our wired helmets that this was the place where my friends and I had spent so much time side by side, before coming back to Fredericksburg for iced drinks and re-assessing our map and heading back out again briefly and getting a little lost but meeting a nice old man in a refurbished army jeep and his neighbor and finally just heading back to trailer up and go on down to Kerrville.

Friday

We showed up at the Camp for what was actually a pre-workday workday, with a handful of volunteers gathered to lay down the works for the hundreds of volunteers coming in on Saturday. All we knew was that we would be working on the Nature Trail, which I assumed meant clearing brush or maybe hauling around some wood - but not walking into a full-on construction zone. Two steps in among half a dozen well-seasoned (male) volunteers in a tangle of extension cords and dangerous looking saw things, and I was completely out of my element. But Dad just gave me some work gloves and smiled and said to stick with it, so I hopped in the back of a buggy and headed up to start tearing down a bridge with Mike and Paul - who very helpfully explained how exactly to use a power drill and eventually warmed up to my desire to be useful while accidentally stripping every screw I set drill to. But by lunchtime we'd taken down an entire bridge and started in on the second one, and Dad met up with me at noon to call it a day as we headed out for burgers, motorcycle detail and a long-winding southern loop over hairpin 90-degree turns and through soaring shaded cliff-sides and stopping at tiny gas stations off the route that sold self-service gas and night crawlers. Roast beef Cracker Barrel dinner in Kerrville and back to the motel, where I flopped down ... and promptly slept for fourteen hours.

Saturday

With our feet under us in the work department, we headed back up to the Camp at 7:15 sharp for the volunteer breakfast in their soaring cafeteria before hitting the nature trail again. It was a fun inside moment, recognizing our guys amidst the influx of one-day volunteers whose other jobs ranged from cleaning out winter-stagnant buildings to landscaping barren beds to various other small and large construction projects. We filled up on breakfast burritos and styrofoam cups of coffee, then headed down to our first little bridge to start screwing in the new decking that had been laid out in place of the old.

The power drill is a formidable thing.

In order to screw in anything properly, I literally had to maneuver my entire body weight on top of the drill, and even then, the bit would throw itself to one side and the screw to the other and that sickening clack-clack-clack would sharpen the air. I became entranced with getting it right. Center the bit, carefully. Give just enough pressure to anchor the screw. Then stay perfectly straight, but run full power and press the butt of the drill into my left palm, pushing against my collarbone. Repeat. Again and again. It was frustrating, and far from perfect, and mesmerizing, and suddenly one bridge was done and we were on to the next and much larger one where I watched for awhile as they all discussed important and inscrutable things like measurements and I just nodded until it came down to screw in more decking and they set me to the center line of screws, where my young knees could take it and were necessary anyway for my preferred method of full-body drilling.

We were supposed to leave at lunch again, Dad and I, but due to a shortage on the nature trail detail we were begged to stay longer and didn't end up leaving the Camp until 3:00 - consequently adjusting our afternoon route to a short Eastern one rather than the extended Western circuit we'd initially planned. It was the perfect mix though, of a planned route with a bit of wandering, of loose hill-rounding curves with long and peaceful stretches punctuated through pasture and hill country alike.

Mamacita's for dinner.

Motel for rest (and blogging).

Memories for life.

pictured : execute your ideas

2012-03-02T08:00:00.000-06:00

Enthusiasm is ... the grip of your hand,

the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas.

loving : project completion

2012-02-29T22:12:00.000-06:00

thanks to Kelly, who shared a challenge on Instagram :
to post one photo each day in February from this list.

found : interior, re-structured

2012-02-29T07:00:00.000-06:00

via Yellows Photography for RUM Offices

learning : living gifts

2012-02-28T07:00:00.000-06:00

National Geographic

Experience gifts are some of the best. Gifts that can be used, not just consumed. Memberships, games, certificates, recipes, subscriptions... especially subscriptions. There is just something magical about getting the newest issue of an actual printed magazine that I don't think will ever be replicated by its virtual counterparts. About opening your mailbox and seeing that thick wedge of unknown waiting. About running your fingers reverently over an especially well-composed cover. About opening to the Contents page, that proud block of feature stories alongside the beloved column of regulars.

Two gifts that have stuck to my memory long after their tissue was tossed are the New Yorker subscription Bekah bought for me one Christmas years ago - their issues piled high, week after week, short stories and op eds and NYC restaurant reviews and long fascinating articles about things far outside my little world and always reminding me of her - and Jon's Seeing the Everyday subscription one birthday? Or Christmas? I don't remember the holiday, but I remember cherishing many meals spent slowly turning its pages and dwelling in its calm, joyful aesthetic. So much so that I gifted it in turn to J and Rae, feeling its family focus was more fitted to their happy growing home. And for the past few Christmas/birthdays I've renewed by repeated request Abi's subscription to Real Simple - which she brings back home when visiting, sharing the last issue around the entire family, recipes and ideas passing from hand to hand.

So. With the March madness of Reese birthdays soon upon us, half a dozen total, I'm paging through pinned wishlist publications and scheming gifts to get and gifts to request. SPOILER ALERT!

Lapham's Quarterly

Kinfolk

learning : the perfect slouch

2012-02-27T08:00:00.000-06:00

journelle

more summer clothes gathering, this time in the key of casual :

worn down jeans and a brilliant lace-strapped bra by Journelle,
meant to be worn under tanks for a layered-like look.

h&m

pictured : butterfly back

2012-02-26T11:38:00.000-06:00

Cassie called me up last night with an odd request : to take her to get a tattoo. My immediate reaction was first to ensure parental approval and second to make sure she grasped the finality of it. These essential steps down, we headed to Shotgun Tattoos where good ole Mike - who did my chandelier as well as a graceful line of script on Brooke’s arm - eyed my skinny little sister dubiously up and down before agreeing to put on her first piece. She picked an intricately woven butterfly that is in its choice part homage to our mother, who has a butterfly tattoo on her shoulder-blade, and in its slightly metallic design to our father, who loves his motorcycle and taking his daughters on bike trips across the county and beyond.

She took it like a champ. Breathing deeply, and smiling often, and cracking jokes, and humming when he hit the spine or the left side of the back where nerves are bundled especially close. It was relaxed, and exciting, and crowned by a late-night Taco Bell run.

As I sat by, thoughts ran through my head of the countless rolled eyes I’ve received after each fresh batch, and immediate defense for her as she may encounter some of the same reactions :

Tattoos are creatures of both permanence and transience, lasting the length of life but passing away too with this body-shell that we’ll shed when moving on to the expanse of eternity. It is a sobering thing in both aspects. It is to be respected in both aspects. What you put on your body for the remainder of your life should be considered carefully - is this something you can stand behind from now on? - but also oriented properly in perspective as belonging to this temporal world.

In this tandem function they embody perfectly to me the seeming paradox of living life well : with both discretion and levity.

Think carefully. Then live brightly.

loving : limits

2012-02-25T08:00:00.000-06:00

I love the feeling of running up against a limit imposed by fear
- but pushing past it -
and watching others do the same.

This weekend has been full of those moments.

From making an omelette,
to playing in a jam session,
to Conrad jumping in on the jam session,
and Tiffani trying out sushi,
to staying calm in a house filled with dead bears,
to Cassie getting her first tattoo...

... there is nothing quite like it.

learning : elegance in neutral

2012-02-25T07:00:00.000-06:00

topshop

Harvesting looks, as we warm wistfully towards summer,

of elegant neutrals, each with their own under-toned twist :

loeffler randall

j. crew

etsy

anthropologie

j. crew

found : slices of serenity

2012-02-24T07:30:00.000-06:00

via Pinterest

loving : that pup, pt. 4

2012-02-23T20:45:00.000-06:00

Listen, big boy,
Now that I've got you made,
Goodness, but I'm afraid
Something's going to happen to you;
Listen, big boy,
You've got me hooked and how,
I would die if I should lose you now!

- ruth etting, button up your overcoat -

learning : wednesday work edition

2012-02-22T08:00:00.000-06:00

Land Team Triage

contract to close

buyers

price reductions

expiring

new listings

marketing & administrative

Business is coming in fast and heavy these days, firehose style. My desk has been covered in stacks and books and slips and crumbs from the lunches I keep eating at it. I love when it's like this. But stress comes fast and heavy too, not from the sheer amount of work to be done, but rather from the necessity to quickly identify which of 20 simultaneous demands should take priority. So, I thought through those that are the most sensitive - such as contracts, which can fall apart at the neglect of a day, or buyers, who can disappear after one unanswered e-mail - and made up a little triage label stuck to the front of my monitor to keep me focused. Because yes, that seller's request for a modified primary photo is important, but not as important as promulgating a new price reduction or catching a listing expiration. Breathe. Assess. Tackle.

found : sy safransky's notebook

2012-02-20T14:12:00.000-06:00

"I need to cut more pages from my upcoming book, so I’m trying to keep in mind William Faulkner’s advice to writers: 'You must kill all your darlings.' No more procrastinating over whether a particular Notebook entry deserves a berth or needs to walk the plank. It’s nothing personal, I tell a comely paragraph (110 words, perfect posture, not an ounce of fat) as I grab it by the collar and give a little push. You wanted to live forever, I say. Of course you did. Deathless prose, et cetera. Soon you’ll be a drop in the ocean of God’s love. Don’t ask if it’s dark. Don’t worry that it’s cold. "

- the sun magazine -

learning : facebook branding brilliance

2012-02-20T10:39:00.000-06:00

So : Facebook & MOO have joined forces to offer 50 free business cards.

I gave them a test run and was pleased to peaches with the finished product, a crisp design on deliciously weighty stock, delivered in this oh-so-clever and oh-so-classic little black box. All together, a brilliant marketing move by Facebook to further blend the lines between our online social world and our actual physical one, where new friends are real faces and hands still trade numbers.

loving : sister Sunday

2012-02-19T17:39:00.001-06:00

spent all of a rainy Saturday in Canton helping Dad with his taxes by sorting paperwork for, oh, 6 hours

and then decided to bundle Cassie and her pile of travel pillows back to Terrell -

photobooth, whoppers & milk duds, The Soloist, and couch-to-bed conversion commenced.

Sunday morning was balcony coffee, introducing her to First Baptist Church, fajita lunch at El Nog,

and a Wal-Mart tip for some much-needed toilet paper, new dog toys, and new frames?

Oscar de la Renta, you will be mine.

And a rest-full afternoon, burning music and taking photos
while the dog chewed on a pig-toy and a sister napped on the day-bed.

I know my little sisters won't be around forever, but while they are,
it'll be photobooth and whoppers all the way

loving : friday evenings

2012-02-18T10:11:00.000-06:00

a belated Valentine's package from Etsy, well worth the wait ...

... annual office party, The Little Black Dress and red wine and laughter ...

... and finally, home, the comfort of sweaters and some smudge-eyed sleep.

learning : the new kid in town

2012-02-17T12:56:00.001-06:00

Miyako Sushi & Grill

the owner and chef are from California and Hawaii, respectively.

their lunch specials are tidily priced and tidily boxed -

their mere existence brings me inexpressible bliss

(click images to enlarge)

loving : thursdays

2012-02-16T23:45:00.000-06:00

especially this one, full of little discoveries and bits of richness like :

Waking up after a night's great sleep thanks to
The Sleepmaker App Series

Giddy lunchtime joy over the new place in town,
Miyako Sushi and Grill

Learning how very easy it is to
create and embed this much-needed calendar

and kicking off our spring season of Sisters' Nights with a baked potato bar,

cracked pepper and candelight, Abi's call and an impromptu prayer circle,

full coffee carafes accidentally put up in cupboards,

camping tub demonstrations with consequent falling paintings,

Bananagrams and veldt, jilt, qoute?

learning : active love

2012-02-15T22:04:00.000-06:00

... active love is a harsh and fearful thing compared with the love in dreams. Love in dreams thirsts for immediate action, quickly performed, and with everyone watching. Indeed, it will go as far as the giving even of one's life, provided it does not take long but is soon over, as on stage, and eveyone is looking on and praising. Whereas active love is labor and persistence, and for some people, perhaps, a whole science.

― Fyodor Dostoevsky -

As all the sentimental froth of Valentine's Day dissipates, with love spoken and calls made and statuses updated and texts sent and candy received and candy eaten and strawberry cake put up in the break room fridge, this recently read quote has settled itself deep in my mind.

Active love is waking up to a regular Wednesday, to a regular winter day, to the same people to be loved. To the same small and decidedly unromantic struggles. To the same private concessions of self, not public displays of affection.

Active love is a harsh and fearful thing.

It is labor, and persistence.

It is our ultimate purpose.

pictured : neck ink

2012-02-15T21:20:00.001-06:00

some things you don't want to forget

loving : this one

2012-02-14T00:00:00.000-06:00

by Nathan Parker of Versa Imagery




happy valentine's day

to the sweetest Russian-speaking arm candy a girl could ask for

found : a thief

2012-02-13T17:39:00.000-06:00

via Ryan Flynn

learning : winter soups

2012-02-13T08:05:00.000-06:00

simple pumpkin soup with spiced carrot topping

for the soup

1 (15 oz.) can pumpkin filling
1 (15 oz.) can coconut milk
1 cup beef broth
To taste:
Roasted coriander
Curry powder
Cayenne pepper
Salt

for the carrots

2 carrots
A splash of olive oil
To taste
Curry powder
Cumin
Kosher salt

This is what happens when chilly February evenings meet low grocery numbers. Sunday night I dived into the sparse pantry shelves and came back up with a soup using my last two canned goods : pumpkin pie filling and coconut milk.

Whisk the liquids and spices together in a pot, turn to very very low and cover. Crank that oven up to about 400, chop the carrots oh-so-thin, douse 'em in olive oil and then rub 'em with spices. Pop them in the oven and go on about your night for the next half hour or hour - depending on how rich you want your soup and crispy your carrots - and just swing back into the kitchen every now and then to make sure that that thick coconut milk isn't burning and that the carrots get flipped from time to time.

When all looks properly done, ladle up the soup, throw on some carrots, drizzle perhaps with excess spiced olive oil from the carrot pan, and bam! Brightness in a bowl with money still in the bank.

loving : wednesday work edition

2012-02-08T07:00:00.000-06:00

these blessings

kindness: the coffeepot given me by an agent who had upgraded and knew I had a cheap one
resources: the City's mapping department, where we can get full-sized survey copies and scans
appreciation: hesitantly requested business cards, but was enthusiastically encouraged to purchase some
sustenance: although still too frequently in the form of fast food, my job nonetheless provides not only the means for essentials like food & covering, but the ability to enjoy so much more besides.

learning : visual order

2012-02-07T00:49:00.001-06:00

These two tips via Lifehacker have just blown my easily-impressed mind:

For handwritten to-do lists, lay out your priorities in task boxes: first priorities go in the large box, second priorities in the smaller box, third in the smallest boxes - priority management at a glance!

Organize your iPhone apps in folders by use rather than category. I just did this (with the usage folders arranged alphabetically of course e.g. Budget, Cook, Create, Listen, Shop, Travel, etc.) and it makes so much more sense for quick reference + clarity of purpose

pictured : housesitting

2012-02-04T16:43:00.001-06:00

mid-afternoon light and classic grey beadboard, old wooden floors and a screened-in porch

found : encouragement

2012-02-02T08:10:00.000-06:00

If your heart is beating you are a drummer -

Let the drum connect your heart to your hands.

- duriye -

learning : wednesday work edition

2012-02-01T08:00:00.000-06:00

Two of my favorite online services right now are lynda.com and Flick and Share :

lynda.com is a $25/mo. online database of hundreds of step-by-step software training tutorial videos that can be watched on your computer, iPhone or iPad - and upon completing a course, they generate a downloadable certificate of completion for you. We juuuuust purchased a subscription at work and, with my head still in a tizzy from the convention last weekend with its half dozen tech-blast sessions, I'm ready to muscle down and watch up with a cuppa cocoa on my couch.

Flick and Share is a free service that allows you to download an entire flickr set (that belongs to you) with photos in their original sizes, generating a URL that you can share with friends or family who also want to download the set with original sizes. This was a lifesaver for me recently - otherwise, Flickr requires you to manually select the original size and then individually download each picture in a set. Basically, this service is the bottle of Tylenol to a little Flickr user headache.

loving : conventions, pt. 2

2012-02-01T00:02:00.000-06:00

Gonna keep on tryin'

Till I reach my highest ground

Home, now, with about 15 pages of typed training notes and a 3 page long to-do list culled from said notes and the 5 hour brainstorming drive back with my boss(es) and fellow convention attendees, Frank and Terry.

Saturday night I accepted the Platinum Club & Hall of Fame Awards from RE/MAX of Texas CEO Richard Filip on behalf of Dad, who had been at the convention with us at its onset but left on an early morning flight to settle family matters at home. The moment was bittersweet, the honor of standing for him on that stage weighted with the sadness that he wasn't there to be recognized in person for so much hard work at RE/MAX over so much time.

There were several reasons to be proud that night, though: Frank also earned among several things statewide Commercial Realtor of the Year - bearing in mind here that in RE/MAX recording terms, "Commercial" property is anything other than residential, thus covering the wide swath of land and farm and ranch sales that are his specialty and make up the bulk of my workload as his Land Team admin - which is quite a feat, considering the thousands of competing agents across Texas and their far larger commercial markets.

Sunday I ordered my first and last breakfast via room service, the simple magic of a hot croissant and bacon on a tray, drinking Keurig-made coffee and shimmying around the room packing to Stevie Wonder and the final southern sunlight through flung-back hotel drapes.

Back to the routine now, to the cycle of feeding the dog and doing the dishes and packing a lunch for work, but with the clarity of focus and the fuel of ideas and the memory of gala night dinners and well-won awards and room service mornings to spur me forward in 2012.

loving : conventions, pt. 1

2012-01-27T14:09:00.000-06:00

taking a brief breather between training sessions to snap some shots here at the RE/MAX Convention in Galveston's Moody Gardens Hotel & Convention Center, where we're half a day deep into two+ days of non-stop networking and training. Next up: How to Build a Profitable Team. Coffee and go time!

learning : twenty acts of kindness

2012-01-26T07:56:00.000-06:00

Post below via the Birthday Project, an inspiring initiative dedicated to "...creating a shift in the way people from all walks of life think about and celebrate their birthday (and other milestones)" by performing random acts of kindness. Simple ideas, really, but all are small gestures of a calculated awareness for others that can be so easily forgotten while moving through our daily routines.

People often ask me for free or inexpensive ways to show kindness to others. Several of the things I shared from the original 38 I featured on my blog were free (or close to it). Here are twenty more:

Open doors for others

Return shopping carts for people

Volunteer at the local food pantry, school, library, etc.

Thank someone for their hard work

Write notes of appreciation to anyone who's made a difference

Look for ways to serve people in your family

Bring in the neighbor's garbage can/recycling bins

Help a coworker meet a deadline

Offer to watch a young mother's child for a few hours

Take a friend/neighbor's dog for a walk

Mow/rake/sweep for an unsuspecting neighbor

Spend an hour picking up trash at a local park, beach or roadway

Go through your clothes and donate items to a local shelter

Spend an hour at the local nursing home assisting with crafts or reading to residents.

Adopt a soldier as a penpal

Give someone a compliment

Donate blood

Leave a positive comment on a blog

Let someone in line go ahead of you

Ask all your friends & family members to do something nice for one other person in honor of your birthday and to use the money they would have spent on a gift/card for you toward an act of kindness instead!

found : blue skies for gray

2012-01-25T07:53:00.000-06:00

via Uncommon Goods

a little something for this dark and rainy day,
the cheerful idea
of carrying around your very own sky!

loving : on the road, and back again

2012-01-24T07:00:00.000-06:00

Be here now, no other place to be

All the doubts that linger, just set them free

And let good things happen

And let the future come into each moment

Like a rising sun

It's been a lopsided weekend, extremes of sleep and activity flopped down on either end of each day. Friday night was sleek downtown pizzeria with doors open to the Dallas crowd, then House of Blues for a whiskey sour (one, thank you) within the crush of an unusually obnoxious crowd for the music of Mason Jennings, an artist I've been listening to for almost a decade now, old songs whose lyrics are so woven into memory they flowed out again in unconscious unison. Then, actually meeting him - quick handshake, the awkward moment of one-sided recognition, a picture together and move on through the line. Waffle House on the way home, syrup soaked waffles and burnt coffee and bleary-eyed musing at one-or-two-something in the morning.

Saturday started early on too little sleep and even less preparation for the four homes I filmed, stretching from south of Forney to east of Ben Wheeler across highways and interstates and county and farm to market roads, studded with u-turns and map consultations and fast food wrappers and radio tunes and sellers half-crazy in their respective ways, ending at last with a late, late lox and cream cheese bagel lunch at the Edom Bakery & Grill. By the time I'd picked Chez up from his two-day kennel stint at the family house all I could think of was bed, straight home to sleep for 14+ hours straight.

Sunday was nigh perfect, one of those unseasonably sunny days that lets you open windows and doors and clean and cook and prepare for the coming week, with a brief afternoon foray out to Wills Point for my fifth and final video and a productive video uploading session before packing up the pup and heading out to Canton for lasagna and salad and fat little nieces and nephews whose simple joy remind me of what matters in this world. Rest. Renew. Repeat.

loving : that pup, Pt. 3

2012-01-18T08:13:00.000-06:00

found : in memorandum

2012-01-16T17:28:00.000-06:00

from his final speech

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. So I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968

loving : gator country

2012-01-14T22:37:00.002-06:00

Took to the road this sunny Saturday afternoon to meet up with my brother, sister-in-law, and tow-headed nephew Ethan at East Texas Gators and Wildlife Park, a gem of a place hidden on a Farm to Market road that is equal parts zoo, wildlife retreat, bayou, and curiosity shop. It went something like:

loving : snacktime

2012-01-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

image via Pinterest

Growing up, I remember very distinctly how school days revolved not so much around the demarcations of a clock but rather the associated punctuations of food : lunch break at 11:30 or 12, with snack breaks at 10 and 3. And now, as I pack for the workday each morning, I still find myself honoring our sacrosanct childhood snacktimes and squirreling in little sandwich bags of desk-appropriate nibbles. For example, last week it went something like:

9 a.m. Greek yogurt with homemade granola & honey + coffee
12 p.m. PBJ, whole banana, whole avocado
2 p.m. chili-infused dark chocolate squares + coffee
5 p.m. cheddar cheese slices and whole wheat crackers

But somehow it feels like I'm the only one constantly scuttling back and forth to the office kitchen with her precious snack stashes meted out on paper plates, cocktail napkins beneath to sweep away that tell-tale whisper of crumbs and greasy fingerprints left trailed along the faux wood cubicle desk top.

Am I really the odd stomach here? Or is everyone else also secretly hungry every two hours, but somehow able to resist the urge to start pawing through cabinets in search of that stray pack of popcorn you KNOW has been abandoned for like 2 years?

found : a reminder

2012-01-11T09:36:00.000-06:00

...words that I need to remember today.
In the face of a small slight, asking myself:
Do I bring pettiness, or generosity?
Resentment, or resolution?
Strife, or peace?
Do I bring His love into this place?

loving : that pup, Pt. 2

2012-01-06T00:32:00.001-06:00

via Uncommon Goods

(a continuation of this post)

I am pecking this out with painfully slow consideration on my aging iPhone, a stuttering thumb war for remembrance on a doll sized keyboard. Each word, too, is jarred by the interruption of a nose thrust into my elbow with clockwork regularity - a wet nose, alternately snuffling inquiry or suggesting with various degrees of forcefulness an alternative activity in the form of a much-loved and consequently tooth-pocked rubber ball.

The damp nose and equally damp ball belong to Chester. They are essential parts of his evening routine, a routine consisting primarily of loose-limbed ambling from one room to the next, broken by sudden spasms of gymnastic, clawing energy aimed nose and teeth first at the unsuspecting ball or an unsupervised pair of rolled up socks or that most treasured of fleeting toys, the stray leaf snatched discreetly mid-toilet breaks or tandem walks. Acorns, too, and fraying bits of stick are smuggled in - and once, nearly, a dried out mud dauber nest - cherished contrabands, deliciously forbidden diminutive playmates to be tucked away innocently between paws and carpet when he raises a self-conscious gaze to meet my silently laughing one.

It is this almost human gaze that surprises me the most, seeing comprehension and strangely familiar emotions now flickering in mute eyes that were once just bright little brown buttons of generic puppy cuteness, as broadly adorable as those on a grocery aisle Hallmark card. They have become pointed with personality, at times conveying unmistakeable boredom as he throws head down on paws and sidles out a heavy sigh and sideways shrugging glance towards and then immediately away from my deeply uninteresting human busyness; at others, taut with accompanying full-body alertness, following every sway of a toy dangling in mid-air before its inevitable fling across the room or field; illumined with utter unspoiled happiness too in these moments, and always roaming the hope of them at me later, offering the argument with a nudge and peaked eyebrows that surely there is nothing more joyful in life than playing. (About which he may be right). To be fair, too, they can infuriate me, crackling with unmalicious but exultant defiance as he dances just beyond the reach of a confining leash or reprimanding hand - but when, or rather if, the hand has finally made its point, they are quickly downcast, only tentatively tossing upward the apologetic and heart-melting hope for restored favor... which is of course never slow to follow.

And lastly, the all important look - the one I am getting now, unwavering and urgent and often accompanied with vocal reinforcement if ineffective - the look that says it is time to visit the giant doggie toilet we humans laughingly refer to as a front yard.

pictured : new year's day

2012-01-03T15:04:00.001-06:00

we started off the new year with a wander,
taking the pup & the camera across windswept lake grey

(taken by Ryan)

loving : that pup, Pt. 1

2011-12-27T23:40:00.001-06:00

Then

and Now

Just finished off the final pages of Marley & Me, a gift from the mother who insists on referring to my own lab pup Chester as her "granddog" despite my firm protests to keep him properly squared in the canine realm with dog-appropriate nicknames like pup, pup-dog, Chez, Chez-bro, Bubba or (only on rare occasions of particularly strong sentiment) Bubbaloo. Dog owners who anthropomorphize their pets with sweaters, manicures and lavish human endearments have always freaked me out, and when I fell, or rather stumbled, into the ranks of dog ownership mid-September thanks to a truck full of squirming lab/blue heeler puppies positioned near an outdoor church event, I swore not to become one of those doe-eyed single women doting on their surrogate "child."

When I first brought Chez home - a somersaulting, uncontrollably urinating and slightly gangly puff of yellow fur about the color of bleached cornmeal, but studded with surprisingly sharp little teeth and claws - I realized in about 30 seconds that for us to co-inhabit my one-room loft apartment peacefully there would need to be some very firm rules in place.

Rule Number 1: No more peeing inside.
Rule Number 2: No more pooping inside.

Outside of that and the desire for a healthy Dog/Owner relationship more closely resembling that of English hunters with their hounds than the modern family whose pampered suburban pooch is rushed to their local vet at the first sign of a rogue flea, I knew next to nothing about what rules to lay down, what to expect of a dog, or what he needed to be given. I've always been a detached sort of pet owner, preferring independent and low-maintenance creatures like stray cats, bubble-eyed goldfish and, for one particularly entertaining spell, an aloof okeete cornsnake named Atticus. When I was ready to move on, geographically or emotionally, they were given new homes. C'est la vie, carpe diem, off we go!

But suddenly there was a rapidly growing bundle of nervous dependence literally and relentlessly underfoot who needed me for everything. Meals. Bathroom breaks. Exercise. Entertainment. Emotional security. Training. More exercise. More training. More - so, so many more - bathroom breaks.

And so I set out to learn: googling furiously; reading articles and excerpts from books like How To Be Your Dog's Best Friend: The Classic Training Manual for Dog Owners; quizzing people I knew who had dogs or really anyone who had ever been within ten feet of one; interrogating the local vet as he administered puppy vaccines; begging the kind-voiced but stern-handed groomer for tips as she deftly trimmed his claws while he thrashed in excitement; examining the Wal-Mart pet aisle at great lengths, comparing bold nutritional claims on the front of puppy chow bags depicting glossy-haired and bright-eyed pups bounding before equally glossy-haired and bright-eyed families; carefully poring over the assembly instructions of his daytime crate before promptly snapping my finger between its pressurized metal sides; squeezing chew toys to assess their endurance ability and educational merits; and then googling some more to find out how to make my own when he repeatedly eviscerated the $8 ones I brought home. (The most indestructible and entertaining to date has been a clean, empty Folgers can - the large plastic kind with a handle-like indention - perfect for puppy soccer, allowing him to grab and toss and punt it about.)

And along the way, somewhere between all the research and the midnight bathroom trips and the gleefully destroyed toys and joyfully shredded rugs and pillows and socks and the elbow-socket-destroying walks and the long welts left by enthusiastic claws and the attacks on my car's headliner while driving in the rain, Chester the Dog, and not just Chester the Responsibility, has begun to emerge.

(to be continued)

loving : settling in and moving forward

2011-11-16T12:24:00.001-06:00

Got another tattoo and a lab mutt pup. Sold the Jimmy and bought an Oldsmobile. Left the downtown loft and moved into a gated apartment community. Broke up with the boyfriend and went back to church. Change, leaves turning over, and with it my heart.

New faces, seeing people on the street and knowing their name - or sometimes just their smiles. Business owners, and artists... fellow church goers, land buyers, and land sellers. Library workers and produce peddlers. The gas station attendant who asks how my dog is, and I look at him puzzled (I never said I had a dog) - he was playing volleyball in the park, earlier that night, when we were out walking

There's a similar thread among my conversations - people love this town. It is small, but proud. A banged up beauty, empty brick buildings, waiting for the infusion of fresh growth you can practically taste, so close to Dallas and its inevitable sprawl.

And in looking around I realized, this town has old money - but it needs young blood.

learning : free or under five

2011-10-14T10:30:00.002-05:00

Having lived in East Texas for almost 25 years, I've heard again and again the complaint that there's just "nothing to do" in its smattering of small towns, and that any worthwhile entertainment is a long drive and emptier wallet away in the form of the standard dinner-and-a-movie outing to Tyler or Dallas. But again and again, armed with local publications, facebook feeds, e-mail subscriptions, and business postings I've found local entertainment that is, if not free, at least under $5 - and far more satisfying for the process of discovery and the connection with community.

Recent deals:

$4 for skates and admission for two people at Dad's Broadway Skateland in Mesquite
$2 for bowling at Terrell Bowling (recurring - every Thursday night)
$2 for a day pass to olympic-sized swimming pool in Terrell
free classic movies at the Iris Movie Theatre (recurring - 2nd/4th Friday nights)
free art jam and live music in Ben Wheeler/Edom (recurring - 2nd Saturday)
free pre-show four-song band set at Good Records in Dallas
free flower arranging class in Terrell
free handmade envelopes
free waffle, free slice of pie, and free coffee from Waffle House
free movies

Providers:

Groupon
City services - libraries and parks
Publications
Local business
Word of Mouth

Sources:

Facebook
Websites
Print publications
Flyers
E-mail subscriptions

found : alternatives to the post-work cocktail

2011-10-05T17:45:00.000-05:00

article : apartment therapy

picture : me

We all want our home to be a peaceful and stress-free place that we look forward to heading for at the end of each day. Sadly, that just isn't always the case now is it; so let's try and minimize that as much as possible. Here are a few tips to help keep your home the happy place it should be.

Use Your Commute to Unwind: Spend the first half of your commute time figuring out those last few work thoughts without any noise interference and then begin to let your mind settle. For the second half try to transition into a calmer place, put on your favorite music, podcasts, radio show, whatever and begin focusing on thoughts of your life outside of work. Really make an effort to separate your work thoughts before you get home.

Change Your Route: If you've had a particularly difficult day then try to change up your route home a bit. If possible take a more scenic route and give yourself a little bit more time to just figure things out before you get home. It's ok if you need to stop for a breather and take a little longer getting home, I'm sure everyone will be better off for it.

Put a Time Limit on Venting: If you do get home and just really need to get it out then give yourself a 15 minute window to just spew it all and then stop. Try not to let it fester. If you can't solve the problem right, then there is no point to continue focusing on it and let it ruin you, your family, spouse, or friend's entire evening. I know this is easier said than done, but it can't hurt to try.

Power Off: In the electronic age we live in it is entirely possible for you to be working constantly. Depending on your job this won't be easy, but try to make a pact with yourself that you will not pick up your phone or check your work email for a few hours when you get home. Spend that time taking care of yourself, your family or friends. If your attention is constantly split, then it's almost as bad, and much more frustrating, than not being there at all. You need the break, and others in your life will surely appreciate it too.

Home Rituals: Having calming rituals that you look forward to when getting home can really help with the work to home transition.

Remember to Breathe: I know this may sound cliché, but taking a deep breath before you turn the knob and enter your home will help calm your mind and nervous system and set a good intention for the rest of your night.

Treat Your Home with Respect: If you want to keep your home a calm place for you to retreat to, then check the negativity at the door. It's not easy to do, but with some effort it can really change how you view your home.

found : an unsuccessful attempt at prevention

2011-09-14T06:30:00.000-05:00

found : for the little daily oceans

2011-09-04T01:40:00.000-05:00

loving : pinhole press

2011-09-02T12:55:00.000-05:00

When Ryan left for school this time, I undertook a little art project to lessen the ache of his leaving: photographing various artifacts around my loft ("the Lightbox") from our moments together over the summer, and then using them to compose a sleek desk calendar from Pinhole Press for him.

Each picture is of an actual item from that moment.

In one summer, we made a year's worth of memories.

JULY

Introducing the little girls to Darjeeling Limited

AUGUST

Fondue night with Conrad & Tiffani

SEPTEMBER

Polka Festival in Ennis with the guys + outdoor market

OCTOBER

Cigar smoking + the loose change he inevitably left lying around

NOVEMBER

Art Jam in Ben Wheeler, with picnic featuring special salami & cheeses

DECEMBER

Re-purposing a tree lamp with spray paint in my parking lot

JANUARY

Crab cake, filet mignon & watermelon sorbet dinner at Chateau Bistro

FEBRUARY

Countless nights of reading or listening to Radio Lab

MARCH

Half Price Books and Campisi's

APRIL

Fire Ant Invasion: he mopped my entire apartment with bleach

MAY

Midnight Wal-Mart greenhouse excursion

JUNE

Says it all

found : how to staycation

2011-09-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

article : apartment therapy

picture : me at home

1. Turn Your Phone Off. Don't be reachable. Don't worry about the details you're leaving behind. Don't answer the phone. (And seriously, see if you can stay offline, it's hard and might be impossible but maybe limit the time to evenings or a morning email check).

2. No Housework. Don't do that extra load of laundry. Don't run the dishwasher. Just don't. When we're at home it's too easy to fill the time with extra chores instead of chasing adventure or trying something new. If you need a clean place to relax, splurge on a housecleaner to come in and get the place sparkling so that you can let it go.

3. Do Something New. Now that you aren't answering the phone or doing chores you've got a lot more time on your hands to do fun stuff. Look around and do something you've been meaning to do for a while. Have you checked out the Observatory lately? What about Venice, have you gone to the beach? Are there shops you've been bookmarking online but haven't had the time to go and check out? Are there shops in your own neighborhood that you are curious about? Make an afternoon of it and go check out something you haven't seen.

4. Read a Magazine. One of the best parts about taking a flight somewhere is getting to indulge in fluffy magazines we wouldn't normally have time for. Indulge now, on your couch or sitting on a chair on the balcony. Lose yourself for an hour or two. Savor it. Relax.

5. Don't forget friends! Let people know that you're going on 'vacation' and see who wants to join in for a mimosa brunch or an afternoon at the Getty. You might not be taking a road trip to Austin, but you might go to Alhambra for Vietnamese food and foot massages, and it's always more fun with a companion. This is also an awesome time to invite people over. Since you aren't working you've got time to dedicate to learning to cook something new and hanging out with friends. No early rising to get in the way of a leisurely evening. And oftentimes time spent with good friends and family can be rejuvenating and inspiring.

6. Watch Movies and Read Books. Reading a good book from start to finish is a favorite vacation activity. Without the demands of our regular schedule we can indulge in reading as soon as we wake up and stop whenever we feel like it. Find your favorite spot in the house and dive in. One of Abby's favorite indulgences is watching movies in the morning. On vacation you have permission to do things however you'd like. Netflix finally gets used in our house when we're on vacation.

7. Go Outside. Spend time in your backyard, your balcony or your pool. We have a pool in our complex that we never ever use...until this past weekend when we made a day of it and it felt like a mini vacation. Likewise eating outside, having a bbq and just lollygagging around the garden are excellent ways to break the routine and feel like you're on vacation.

pictured : lettering

2011-08-20T16:35:00.003-05:00

(another semester starting, another post box waiting)

found : ideas for sale

2011-08-15T18:30:00.002-05:00

found : mental space

2011-08-04T08:28:00.000-05:00

poster : right brain terrain

found : torta di pescha

2011-07-29T17:10:00.003-05:00

INGREDIENTS
2 eggs

1 cup sugar
½ cup butter, melted
6 tbsp flour, heaping
1 teas baking powder
3-4 cups thinly sliced peaches

PREPARATION Beat eggs and sugar together until lightened, add melted butter and beat. Mix flour and baking powder together and sift over the egg mixture, beating to incorporate. Mix in the fruit and place in a buttered springform pan. Bake at 375' for 45 minutes, until the dessert is nicely browned and set.

recipe : gina stipo

still life : paul cezanne

learning : frugal food basics

2011-07-26T06:00:00.001-05:00

LAYING THE FOUNDATION:

Whole wheat pastas
Brown rice
Multigrain breads
Lentils, chickpeas, dried beans

FLESHING IT OUT:

Chicken breasts, frozen fillets, or on-sale red meat
Thickly sliced ham & thinly sliced turkey
Whole milk & basic cheeses
In-season vegetables
Year round: onions & garlic
Year round: canned tomatoes
In-season fruits
Year Round: dried fruits & nuts

TYING IT TOGETHER:

Kosher salt & fresh ground pepper
Fresh herbs
Olive oil, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, unsalted butter
Fresh parmesan cheese

pictured : Goodwill gold-mining

2011-07-19T22:16:00.007-05:00

Goes something like : finagle one (1) giant tree lamp into your car ...

... remove glass droplets very, very carefully ...

... spray down with two (2) coats of bronze Rust-Oleum metallic spray paint ...

... thank one (1) patient boyfriend for re-hanging each droplet by hand ...

... find the perfect corner.

pictured : the Windy City

2011-07-08T16:12:00.007-05:00

[ Chicago 7.3.11 ]

loving : long weekends

2011-05-31T19:00:00.003-05:00

This Memorial Day weekend it was all responsibilities off, pure unabashed enjoyment on. To wit:

Friday night there was a late night Wal-Mart trip extravaganza with Ryan (purchases included but not limited to a bonsai tree, captain flash underpants [ryan learned never to make a promise that he would buy the first item of guy's clothing I picked], and lemon bars) before the Austin regulars rolled in to the lightbox for an even later night with coffee and conversation and NPR stories about Area 51 and covert human experimentation. Yes, human experimentation.

Saturday saw a hot window-down, bikini-clad and (unintentionally) meandering drive out to Lake Tawakoni with Ryan for swimming in clay fogged water alongside deeply resented fellow tourists before wandering blissfully far from the whole clamoring lot down miles of green silent trails, an idyllic stroll suddenly gone awry when we traipsed off the trail into what appeared to be a vulture death camp. Finally arrived back at glorious civilization after some savvy tracking, downing a jug of Arizona sweet tea and heading out for more driving towards piles of fried catfish and boiled shrimp and coleslaw and thick cut fries. Then an hour-long conference call with Ryan, Conrad, and - briefly - a very confused David before the Austin rolled in again for another mid-night coffee & conversation marathon. Hungry again after they left, so off we trotted to Waffle House for 3 a.m. BLTs and buttermilk waffles.

Sunday brought more driving, a polka festival in a small town with Ryan and the A-crew, afternoon napping and yoga in the lightbox, shrimp fajitas at my sweet little El Nogalito's, and finally out to Edgewood for a game of mafia and a backyard campfire with a moving couch of a dog named Ladybug.

Monday meant a restart, hours of cleaning and sweeping and (Ryan) napping, then family and ratatouille and Sergeant Bilko to end it all on a quiet note.

Oh bliss.

loving : summer's arrival

2011-05-13T15:08:00.005-05:00

loving : my family & our mother

2011-05-09T09:03:00.003-05:00

loving : being the company Dog-Whisperer

2011-05-03T19:02:00.001-05:00

learning : this one's for the ladies

2011-04-27T21:18:00.001-05:00

So Abigail and I are hoofing it through the woods, talking about one of our favorite subjects - ourselves - and how Reese womenfolk are a bit of a handful, rather willful and independent creatures. And then I thought about our remarkably self-possessed Savannah, and how she just turned only 15, in honor of which I put together a sort of savvy woman's kit for the promising little socialite and entrepreneur of a baby sister, with everything from a dayplanner to granola bars to travel-sized toiletries.

Which got me to thinking about purses.

Purses have somehow devolved into these much male-maligned, often-overpriced and commercially over-hyped black holes that consume receipts and old gum and melting tubes of lipstick and tampons. But a purse, a purse in theory is a beautiful thing. It is a bag of whatever desired size and structure, filled with whatever desired contents, that we get to clasp at our sides and carry primarily unquestioned into almost every conceivable situation. Consequently, a woman's purse should be a thoughtfully assembled and efficiently streamlined line of defense against all those little tricks of the life trade, from toll booths to spaghetti stains.

The next logical step, of course, was to critically examine mine. And then google "purse essentials." And then print articles. And perhaps, just perhaps, highlight them. And then go to Wal-Mart with my list. And then assemble what may be the most prepared purse this typically unprepared girl has ever carried around.

Bring on the spaghetti.

-------

And no, I don't tote one of those back-breaking behemoths that could fit a small third world country and probably cost as much as that country's annual GDP. It's slim. And neutral. And contains only things which are tailored to my own actual activities and typical quandaries - for example, I am on the road constantly in a car without air conditioning. In Texas. So that mini deodorant and perfume? Is a socially required must. But a tube of lipstick...? Get back with me in about 10 years and a serious career or so.

Outside

Car keys, clipped on to purse strap - because who wants to be fishing around in the bottom of your purse for keys when a shady character in the Brookshires parking lot looks like he's about to go all National Geographic on you with a cheetah and gazelle chase to your very firmly locked car?

Front Pocket - In Divided Sections:
Cell phone
Wallet
Checkbook
One miniature notebook
One set of miniature post-it notes
One thin highlighter
One pen

Small Open Pocket 1- Tools:

Swiss army knife
Small flashlight
Waterproof matches
Tire pressure gauge

Small Open Pocket 2 - Defense:
Pepper Spray

Small Inside Zippered Pocket - First Aid:
2 Travel-sized antibacterial wipes
4 Bandaids
1 Tampon
Tweezers

Neosporin

Main Compartment - Tiny Box - Hair Basics
Bobby pins
Elastic ponytail holders

Main Compartment - Clear Bag - Beauty Basics:
Lip balm
Stick of concealer

Pressed powder compact

Mascara
Mini bottle of Calvin Klein's Eternity perfume
Travel-sized Dove deoderant
Travel-sized Tide stain stick
Nail clippers

Main Compartment - Self-Contained - Quick Fixes:
Miniature sewing kit (for straying buttons)
Bag of six dice (for boring times)
Round tin of mints (for stinking breath)
Travel-sized hand sanitizer (for dirty places)
Travel-sized lotion (for dry skin)

Outside Pocket:
Slim spiral dayplanner
One mechanical pencil
Whatever book/magazine/set of articles about purses I'm reading - or pretending to read while sitting at Starbucks critically observing other women

loving : the glass house

2011-04-22T08:45:00.001-05:00

I'm spending a few days housesitting for Frank & Terry, living off simple meals of Bertolli pasta and baguettes and spring green mix salads, a tiny container of key lime pie or raspberry yogurt and coffee for dessert.

After dinner, it's wandering through the dips of the woods, all damp green undergrowth and faint hints of honeysuckle. Or hours on the wrap-around second-story porch, smoking and sipping coffee and reading with a yellow lab half-sleeping but vigilant beside. And before bed, climbing up sets of floating staircases to the small fourth story room for yoga, eyes level with the moonlit treetops through tall glass walls.

It is glorious.

loving : our gorgeous graduate

2011-04-14T21:51:00.002-05:00

---------

oh yes, and of course : her friend and constant companion, the sweetest of Sarahs

loving : sir owl

2011-04-06T19:12:00.002-05:00

behold the sheer amazingness of creative husband-and-wife, brother and sister-in-law team Jon & Carolyn - handmade organic lotions, linen scents, and bath scrubs made by Carolyn and personalized for each Reese March birthday girl (and there are many!), with labels for each product designed by Jon. I want to clasp Sir Owl in my arms and never let him go.

loving : gift kits

2011-03-12T15:53:00.000-06:00

For Cassie's birthday this year, I picked up an old metal supply box (much like this one) and ran all around town to Goodwill, the thrift store and Wal-Mart hunting together the elements for her very own Complete Boredom Survival Kit, to help with her tendency towards boredom in our rural hometown by providing the materials and suggesting the opportunities for the sort of street art and creative social interaction she loves (ala her object of adoration, Color Me Katie).

loving : that man

2011-02-15T09:07:00.002-06:00

Understand, I'll slip quietly
Away from the noisy crowd
When I see the pale
Stars rising, blooming over the oaks
I'll pursue solitary pathways
Through the pale twilit meadows,
With only this one dream:
You come too.

- rainer maria rilke -

loving : the sleet and the safe

2011-02-01T14:10:00.001-06:00

It's bitter outside now, bath towels shoved around windows

to hold back their creaking and ice bitten drafts,

but inside it's warm, and it's still,

and there's green sheltered things and citrus peel hands,

and I'm thinking about seeds sleeping deep underground.

loving : time capsule, pt. 2

2011-01-25T10:59:00.001-06:00

This time, a 1900 Victorian ...

... all carved woodwork and worn books.

loving : this time capsule

2011-01-08T18:23:00.001-06:00

I recently filmed this period intact 1960s home for one of the agents -

and have been craving martinis and smoky records ever since.

learning : the art of necessity

2011-01-05T10:52:00.001-06:00

So. After settling into my new place with an appetite for Good Things and a freely flowing hand to sate it; finally resolving a backlog of overdue school loan payments; tripping down south for a weekend trip; joyfully indulging Christmas shopping and the spending season; and repairing poor ole Jemima to the tune of a solid grand, I'm back to scraping the bottom even after multiple generous bonuses. The bottom ain't a bad place to be, though, as the strictures of its necessity engender both creativity and productivity. From analyzing TXU's graph-heavy weekly electric usage report so's you can determine when and why you use the most electricity (and how to trim it) to quite literally wringing the last morsel out of a turkey, I'm rediscovering the thrill of thrift as equal parts mind and hands. Example: having bought a whopping twenty pounder turkey in the post-Thanksgiving Wal-Mart sales slash - fifty cents a pound, thank you! - I finally pulled its Icelandic mass out of the freezer to tackle my First Roast Turkey and stock up a store of meat for the coming weeks. Several hours and a savory smelling apartment later, I pulled the golden beaut out and sic'ed Ryan on the carving and deboning process, slicing and shredding every bit of meat and flattening it in freezer bags. Next day, and the whole carcass along with neck and giblets and other random unidentified but equally slick turkey insides got tossed in a couple pots with a few carrots and onions and some salt and pepper, simmered for hours and then strained and packaged up in old coffee cans to be frozen as all-purpose soup stock alongside its sister bags of meat. Add that groaning freezer to the spoils of a carefully calculated and executed grocery store expedition including milk, eggs, brown rice, black beans, lentils, cabbage and turnip greens - plus an already well-stocked little pantry of basic baking goods and staples like olive oil & kosher salt - and I'm all set!

Simultaneously, I checked out this fantastic book from the library, The Frugal Gourmet on Our Immigrant Ancestors. Creepy leering cover aside, it is perhaps the single most inspiring thing I've picked up recently. It is a lovingly and clearly prepared melting pot (pause - ponder the many levels on which that works [okay, just two if you're actually counting]) of history, geography, frugality, and food. Divided alphabetically into about 35 immigrant cultures, it spans our heritages from Armenian to Cambodian to Irish to Hungarian to Lebanese to Jamaican to Persian to Russian to Swedish. Each ethnic group is introduced with a map pinpointing their country and a brief history of their culture and their immigration, and each recipe within that ethnicity with the background of its place and importance in their culture. The recipes themselves read like a story, reflections of region and heritage and necessity and creativity and can you see I'm stuck on a theme? For the budget-frustrated culturephile, it is sheer liberation: these immigrants were primarily poor, and their recipes are bare-knuckled frugality simmered in rich foreign tradition - baba ghanoush made with acorn squash! dark soda bread! haluski! spinach borani! Pick it up, pick a page, and wander wide.

loving : trailer hitches & mink wraps

2010-12-27T16:23:00.001-06:00

picture courtesy of Jon

There was so much to Christmas this year - from white elephant gift exchange riots to flaming gingerbread villages, from camping sets in gold boxes to winter picnics with sardines, from waffle house lunches to teriyaki pork loins, from Dr. Strangelove viewings to Ra-ra-Rasputin dancing, from friends sitting proper to grilling and rock climbing - that to put it down in the form of a Gift List seems to do it all a gross injustice, but this at least will anchor down memory to a Christmas marked by household gift sharing, crafting, and the thoughtfulness, love and creativity of all those who consistently overwhelm me.

Ryan prepared three ivory drawers for Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, each filled with old and new guideposts to our time together - spicy Mayan chocolate and a blade sharpener (we once tried to build a miniature guillotine...) and songs from yesterday, letter writing supplies and iPhone earbuds for today with its semesters-long distances, and a trailer hitch for tomorrow and the teardrop life we drift to in dreams and plans.

Mom passed on precious bits of family heritage suited to each child - for me, Gramie's linen pillowcases and a classic mink wrap now nestled alongside her hats and china from years past.

Jon crafted handmade stationary kits for each sibling, perfect from the twine down to my toile envelope interiors. And for me & Ryan, their "primary gift" recipients, he and Carolyn gave a much-longed for French press and premium Jamaican coffee beans I am mostly just staring at, daunted.

Rachael and Justin of course gifted in vein with our family's fantastic from-my-house-to-yours mentality, meaning for me an old-fashioned hanging wire fruit basket that is begging for a place in the lightbox.

Lorrie's gift of Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships got me more than one joke, but it's on my bookshelf to be read - don't typically gravitate to Christian lit for guidance but think good words are in order

Savannah baked for everyone, tiny loaves of traditional banana bread so perfectly symbolic of her sweet sharing spirit.

Bekah picked out a delicious leather journal embossed with an owl, rough thick pages ready to be filled with a joint project I'm thinkin' on that's landed it in the Today drawer.

Hannah crocheted me the neatest of neat fingerless gloves, cozy and comfy and hitting just the right hobo note!

Abi still gave while continents away, a carved wooden letter opener she designated "for opening love letters," which of course also went in the Today drawer.

loving : the rock

2010-12-17T16:30:00.001-06:00

[click here to view entire trip]

what a life I lead when the sun breaks free
as a giant torn from the clouds
what a life indeed when that ancient seed
is a berry watered and plowed

loving : the cozy

2010-12-05T15:25:00.001-06:00

Late Friday night spent sharing your loft with a sister, chicken salad and blackberry tea brunch at the family run coffee shop, brainstorming community and creative collectives, strolling my new city's streets with its head shops and dirty used bookstore, sipping orange coffee and taking afternoon baths. Then out the door by yourself for a historic home tour, joining the middle class throng in the upper crust's homes, all three story structures of solid oak floors and mahogany trim. And as the Christmas lights get drawn out by the darkening night heading back to the loft home, where there's waiting a cousin who crochets camouflage beanies and reads sonnets aloud and a niece and a nephew who spot trains from the window and splash in the bath and want you to sit in their laps for stories. And finally Sunday for family, Abi's pre-Christmas and the home full of lights and green garlands and fire scorched babies.

Concepts gleaming in mind:

Gerard Manley Hopkins' aesthetic and moral principle of our necessity for "giving beauty back to God," as well as his concepts of the "instress" (or the stress of God's will) through the "inscape" (internal scope or being or essence) of the visible, natural world
Letterpress cards, the delicacy of a pattern impression and relief of light on light, like carved crown molding
Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnets from the Portuguese, an invalid tentative and shy then blooming and nuanced and writing of "Love that endures! with Life that disappears"
Building a business, incorporating joint visions
Writing Ryan again, the small daily cards made at my desk in late lamplight
Hosting a reading party, stacks of books scattered 'round and coffee kept brewing and people deep reading

Autumn cooking, too, in keeping with the challenge to stay seasonal - still have butternut squash and mushrooms and pomegranates and pecans and potatoes to explore, but for now it's been:

Roasted Cauliflower: Such a lovely thing in itself, cauliflower, like solid grown clouds, but cooked up so dirty-bland usually. Found a recipe instead for tossing with olive oil and garlic (about three spoonfuls of minced garlic sold in the jar) and a few pinches of salt (Kosher is best), nested in a deep dish and covered with foil and roasted at 400 half an hour or so, until the edges were all earthy browned and the whole thing smelled like an old world kitchen. Hannah had three helpings, and Hannah hates cauliflower.

Cranberry Apple Chutney: Like edible potpourri, just took me a bag of fresh cranberries (halved) and an apple and an onion (chopped) and some crystallized ginger (minced) and two teaspoons cinnamon with one cup of sugar, splashed in half a cup of water and half of red wine, all brought to a quick boil then simmered down low just until soft and syrupy and ready to sweeten and spice up some meat

learning : breakfast beyond coffee

2010-11-17T09:10:00.009-06:00

Light and quick but sustaining being key, I'm thinking:

real juice or whole milk
and coffee

balanced with

found : Loft living

2010-11-09T18:47:00.008-06:00

article : Lifescript

picture : Anthropologie House & Home

1. Defining the Space

Start by walking around your loft to find the best spot for the living area, sleeping space and dining room. Base your decisions on where the kitchen and bathroom are located, and how the windows are arranged.

The living area should have a room with a view, so arrange your sofa where you will be able to enjoy gazing at the lights of the city in the evening. Windows will also be a factor in your bedroom space, since you may not enjoy awakening to the sun shining through a large window every morning. Once you decide on the lay out, sketch a map to help you keep track as the decorating process begins.

2. Dividing the Space

Once you have defined your space, there are a few tricks to divide it. This can be done with furniture pieces like bookcases or tables that will act as a border to different rooms. You can also use a raised platform to set apart the bedroom from the rest of the home. Screens or room dividers are the perfect accessories for loft living; another option is to hang fabric screens from your high ceiling to act as makeshift walls dividing your various living spaces.

3. Choosing a Color Palette

A common color scheme in decorating a loft is neutral, with hues of beige, taupe and white throughout. Unlike traditional homes with separated rooms, the loft will need to use a single color palette to keep the space coordinated and eye pleasing. Don't be afraid to add some color with splashes of bold hues to offset the neutrals. You can also add interest with painting effects, like a single wall of broad stripes that alternate gloss and flat paint of the same hue.

4. Furnishing the Loft

Choose some rich wood pieces for the living room area and offset with sleek, metal-bar stools at the kitchen island. Add a couple of furniture pieces on wheels that will offer greater versatility, like a table or desk that can be easily moved from one space to another when needed. Natural fabrics are generally used in loft decorating, and can include sophisticated leather, rich wool, airy cotton, linen and luxurious silk.

5. Incorporating Storage

Four walls and some windows hardly sound like a space that will provide ample storage for the average loft dweller. If the apartment is too small or sparse, finding a place for everything will be a challenge in decorating. Furniture pieces that do double duty as an accent and a storage unit are the perfect choice.

Tables and ottomans are famous for this duel purpose, and platform beds offer bedroom organization with plenty of drawers and cubbies underneath. Use your vertical space by purchasing tall dressers and armoires that offer lots of storage and serve as effective room dividers. A good rule of thumb is to provide at least one piece of storage in every "room" you create.

6. Warming up the Floor

Hardwood and cement flooring can look fabulous, but it will not feel so great first thing in the morning under bare feet. Warm up you flooring with area rugs that will also serve to define different living areas.

Place one large rug in front of your sofa in the living room and another underneath your dining room set in the eating area. A rug or two in the bedroom will keep your toes warm and cozy first thing in the morning and late at night. And don't forget the mat at the front door to catch the dirt coming into your home so it doesn't get tracked over your beautiful floors.

7. Choosing the Right Lighting

Lighting is another challenge in decorating a loft, since the high ceilings will dictate the type of fixtures that can be used. Take advantage of this additional vertical space by hanging funky chandeliers or pendant lights over your bed and eating area. In addition, add some lower lighting in lamps and wall sconces that will sufficiently light your entire space up and down.

8. Window Dressing

You may have a fabulous view from those large windows, but they will need to be properly dressed if you want to enjoy privacy and relief from the bright sun.

Sheer fabric panels will provide some coverage while letting in that wonderful natural light. Blinds and shutters are another good choice, since they can be opened wide to let the sun in and closed for privacy later in the day.

9. Dealing with High Ceilings

Ceilings in lofts tend to be high, and usually feature exposed ductwork and beams. To visually lower the ceiling and camouflage some of those features, part of your loft decorating may be to paint the ceiling a darker shade.

You can also add architectural elements like crown molding to bring the ceiling height down. Use space on your walls by purchasing pictures and paintings that can be hung vertically, and add some taller pieces of furniture such as bookcases and armoires.

loving : East Moore Avenue

2010-11-05T13:40:00.001-05:00

hello, home.

found : "faith in the useless: art as a space for reconciliation"

2010-10-29T12:58:00.001-05:00

"I think it’s possible that people like me, who are interested in Nanjing and the reconciliation of the Japanese and Chinese, could have called Mako’s lecture and the entire event useless. And in a sense that’s true. The event wasn’t utilitarian; like good art, it wasn’t employed for some function.

But the event really was a creation of space where things essential to being human were discussed, and it has since dawned on me that perhaps it’s in just this kind of space where seeds of reconciliation might actually be planted."

loving : pizza kiln summer

2010-10-24T22:50:00.001-05:00

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together"

found : strange tasting words

2010-10-23T17:48:00.004-05:00

jingo: a person who professes his or her patriotism loudly and excessively, favoring vigilant preparedness for war and an aggressive foreign policy (jing-GOH)

Realpolitik: political realism or practical politics, esp. policy based on power rather than ideals (ree-ahl-poh-li-teek)

fin-de-siecle: the end of the 19th century (fan-duh-sye-kl)

solipsism: extreme preoccupation with and indulgence of one's feelings, desires, etc.; egoistic self-absorption (sol-ip-siz-uhm)

empyrean: the highest heavens, supposed by the ancients to contain the pure element of fire; the visible heavens; the firmament (em-puh-ree-uhn)

supercilious: haughtily disdainful or contemptuous, as a person or a facial expression (soo-per-sil-ee-uhs)

abnegate: to refuse or deny oneself (some rights, conveniences, etc.); reject; renounce (ab-ni-geyt)

quixotic: extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary; impractical or impracticable

leonine: resembling or suggestive of a lion (lee-uh-nahyn)

prurient: having, inclined to have, or characterized by lascivious or lustful thoughts, desires, etc. (proor-ee-uhnt)

diablerie: diabolic magic or art; sorcery; witchcraft (dee-ah-bluh-ree)

cicerone: a person who conducts sightseers; a guide (sis-uh-roh-nee)

soidisant: calling oneself thus; self-styled OR so-called; pretended (swa-dee-zahn)

farcical: pertaining to or of the nature of farce OR resembling farce; ludicrous; absurd (fahr-si-kuhl)

catalepsy: a physical condition usually associated with catatonic schizophrenia, characterized by suspension of sensation, muscular rigidity, fixity of posture, and often of loss of contact with environment (kat-l-ep-see)

distrait: inattentive because of distracting worries, fears, etc.; absent-minded (dih-strey)

recondite: dealing with very profound, difficult, or abstruse subject matter; esoteric; obscure (rek-uh-n-dahyt)

acumen: keen insight; shrewdness (uh-kyoo-muhn)

chiaroscuro: the distribution of light and shade in a picture (kee-ahr-uh-skyoor-oh)

found : our very own turtle shell

2010-10-15T10:58:00.002-05:00

found : "Shout for Joy"

2010-09-30T18:58:00.001-05:00

All we can do, in this deep summer hour,
with the rain, the taxis and the flowers,
walking between the dear ones holding on,
is shout, shout for joy.

Everything that has been broken you’ll mend,
throughout the morning of one day,
sleeves fluttering in the air, in the air,
and we’ll shout, shout for joy.

I said so little.
I could not think of replies.
The words all flew away,
up away from me, up into the trees,
where they shout, shout for joy.

found : strange tasting words

2010-09-05T23:35:00.003-05:00

presage: to portend, foreshow or foreshadow (PRES-ij)
recursive: pertaining to or or using a rule or procedure that can be applied repeatedly (ri-KUR-siv)
invariant: unvarying; invariable; constant (in-VARE-eeh-uhnt)
solvent: able to pay all just debts (SOL-vuhnt)
pluripotent: capable of differentiating into different types of body cell

found : yoga goals

2010-08-26T10:39:00.002-05:00

loving : Service and the Body

2010-08-25T09:52:00.004-05:00

Last night's service revolved directly around a recent theme of conversation with Ryan + backporch thread, that of outward focus and service.

Beginning with the worship:

Ready yourselves
Ready yourselves
Let us shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night
Ready yourselves
Ready yourselves
May the powers of darkness tremble as our praises rise
Until the whole world hears Lord we are calling out
Lifting up Your name for all to hear the sound
Like voices in the wilderness we're crying out
As the day draws near
We'll sing until the whole world hears

Want to be your hands and feet
Want to be a life that leads
To see you set the captive free
Until the whole world hears
And I pray that they will see more of you and less of me
Lord I want my life to be the song You sing
Until the whole world hears Lord we are calling out
Lifting your name up for all to hear the sound
Like voices in the wilderness we're crying out
As the day draws near
We'll sing until the whole world hears
We'll sing until the whole world hears

and then into the service, Ephesians 4:11-16

¹¹And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, ¹²for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; ¹³until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. ¹⁴As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; ¹⁵but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, ¹⁶from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.
(and then I Corinthians 12, particular points standing out to me "through the Spirit...according to the same Spirit...by the same Spirit...by the one Spirit... But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills")

and then driving home, the first song to come on

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

2010-08-20T10:06:00.000-05:00

oblation: the offering to God of the elements of bread and wine in the Eucharist (o-bley-shun)

found : common threads

2010-08-15T23:55:00.001-05:00

time

"In being slower, time is more capacious. The event is only in the moment. By speeding through life with technology, you reduce what any given moment can hold. By slowing down, you expand it."

"when each morning we make the daily oblation... He gives us tastes of eternity - moments stretched, allowing us to do more than we ever expected."

- Open Heart, Open Home

earth

"No longer are festivals tied to the rhythm of the seasons. They used to be fixed to the solar calendar, to the great thaw of spring and the harvest in the autumn."

mind

"As long as the centuries continue to unfold, the number of books will grow continually, and one can predict that a time will come when it will be almost as difficult to learn anything from a book as from the direct study of the whole universe. It will be almost as convenient to search for some bit of truth concealed in nature as it will be to find it hidden away in an immense multitude of bound volumes."

internal eternal

"Like thoughts whose very sweetness / yieldeth proof / that they were born for immortality"

- william wordsworth

"He has also set eternity in their heart"

Ecc. 3:11

"God's manipulation of this human element to increase my usefulness for Himself."

- Open Heart, Open Home

evil on the other side of this good: selfish ambition, the need to establish your own immortality

silence

"He will be quiet in His love"

Zephaniah 3:17

"the silence was in itself the voice of God - this the quiet of the Spirit, a communication that occurs without words"

- Open Heart, Open Home

loving : 7/27/10

2010-08-15T23:33:00.001-05:00

It has been a good day - from waking up well rested in a clean and organized home, focusing myself at work in the morning so that the load was handled efficiently and fully - how much faster time goes! - and then reading Mystical Minimalism over lunch with Harvey weaving demands for attention around the feet of my chair and the dangle of my feet. Rounded out the afternoon by polishing off the website for review with Shauna and Terry tomorrow - the dysfunctionality of the RE/MAX sitebuilder system has crippled almost any attempt at slick design, so I'm contenting myself with the prosaic presentation of information alone.

A thunderstorm took over around 4:00, with that arbitrary summer afternoon intensity, clearing away the humidity and stasis of past weeks.

Then:

- Cooking dinner with hannah, open door, coffee, conversation, simple nourishing food, the product of her garden and our hands

- Scrabble with William, Taylor and cANAAN

- Texting between passages with Thomas and Hannah

- Exodus 33 ("If Your presence does not go with us, do not lead us up from here"); Zech. 3:17 ("He will be quiet in His love"); Psalm 119:33-40 ("Teach me Your ways"); Psalm 149 (on praise); - pursuit, presence, quiet love so easily missed, and praise, the first step in knowing and doing His way

- The Long View reinforcing recent thoughts of quietude, of tuning back into the natural: "We crave slower presence. Humans are far too organic to ever live long neglecting to tend the soil." And regarding the shaping of culture: "Are we in the business of exchanging information or the creative endeavor of connecting to know - each other, work, the world around us as much as the world within?... if culture is to be shapely (giving form to otherwise chaos) and saving (rehumanizing), it must be made so by listening to those generations that have come before us while taking the time to know - beyond the cerebral - the people, the flesh and blood heartbeats this current culture shapes or destroys."

loving : jotting, and underlined

2010-08-10T11:09:00.001-05:00

- our generation's sense of historical displacement (widespread nostalgia-based trends, obsession with anachronism) stemming from technological divorce from surroundings (historical, physical, relational)

- post-workday transition and consequent sense of suspension, also product of technological/information society (as opposed to agragrian, not a sense of disparity and interrupted cycle at the end of the day but rather of its completion and fulfillment)

- Genesis 3 and the devil's first trick, discontentment

- the Trinity: relating to each member individually? or as a whole...?

- fully inhabiting a moment

- gerard manley hopkins

found : gerard manley hopkins

2010-08-10T10:51:00.001-05:00

THE DAPPLED die-away
Cheek and wimpled lip,
The gold-wisp, the airy-grey
Eye, all in fellowship—
This, all this beauty blooming,
This, all this freshness fuming,
Give God while worth consuming.

Both thought and thew now bolder
And told by Nature: Tower;
Head, heart, hand, heel, and shoulder
That beat and breathe in power—
This pride of prime’s enjoyment
Take as for tool, not toy meant
And hold at Christ’s employment.

The vault and scope and schooling
And mastery in the mind,
In silk-ash kept from cooling,
And ripest under rind—
What life half lifts the latch of,
What hell stalks towards the snatch of,
Your offering, with despatch, of!

2010-08-03T17:47:00.000-05:00

oeuvre: the works of a writer, painter or the like, taken as a whole

imprimatur: an official license to print or publish a book, pamphlet, etc.,; sanction; approval (em-pri-MAH-ter)

emeritus: retired or honorably discharged from active professional duty, but retaining the title of one's office or position (em-air-ih-tus)

panacea: a remedy for all disease or ills; cure-all (pan-uh-see-uh)

labile: apt or likely to change (label)

bivouac: a military encampment made with tents or improvised shelters (biv-oo-ak)

loving : ryan's typewriter

2010-08-03T12:00:00.001-05:00